Thursday, October 20, 2011

the challenge of commitment

It's been awhile since I posted... mostly because there hasn't been much worth posting about, and then for the month of October I've taken on some projects that are all consuming. 

I signed up to do a 30 day Yoga Challenge at my one and only studio. I had known about the challenge for some time and waited until the very last second before agreeing to do it. My main issue - committing. 

When people think commitment-phobe it typically relates to relationships, but honest to gawd it applies to so many things for me. If I can't move to a new house, I rearrange. I flip flop on dinner choices. I've been known to change clothes more then once in a day. The school issue remains because it means committing resources (time, money, my self). I even tried to hold off getting married after getting engaged, but the fiance/now huz told me I might as well give back the ring. The one thing I haven't had a choice about committing to is parenting , and boy have I commited to that. Poor kid  might say she needs to be committed because I was so hard core into it. 

So here I am 20 days in to this challenge of commitment and I am proud to say I am on task. I've cheated a bit by skipping Fridays and doubling up on Saturdays, but still I've essentially done yoga for 20 days straight. Am I looking forward to the whole thing being over with? You better believe it. Does it mean I have rid myself of my phobia? No, not really; but gosh durn it if it doesn't explain a lot about choices I've made in the past and might even make me think harder about choices I make in the future.