the end of an era...

11:59 PM, December 31,1999: I can still hear the sounds of the Pacific Ocean washing up on the beach ... I can taste the salt coming in on the breeze, and hear the old cabin creaking under the weight of the stories lived within it's walls...

10 years since:

• I've had seven addresses: five of them within 10 miles of each other.... the last one being the longest I've ever lived anywhere ever in my whole entire life and in turn being over 2500+ miles away from the one I have now.
• 4 jobs: two in Software (it was Seattle after all); 2 health related (-care software, then public-); 2 were less then a year; and the other two went on for several years... each one has left an indelible mark on my life... Some of my nearest and dearest friends came out of three of them. The only thing good about the fourth was I was home for nearly three months of it doing nothing and getting paid absurd amounts of money for doing nothing, the other three I spent traveling internationally from Seattle to London to Vancouver, back and round again a few times.
• My daughter has gone from a lil' bean entering Kindergarten to a young woman with self awareness, compassion, and amazing talent. I have loved her, loathed her, needed her, rejected her, lost her, found her and she has survived it all. I hope in the next 10 years I can mostly love her, understand her, be grateful for her, respect her, but most importantly let her go out into the world knowing I helped create the foundation on which she will build her dreams.
• a very unlikely tall glass of something warm and smooth (aka my man) has stood by my side through all that and more: losing loved ones too soon; celebrating unions with friends and having them celebrate our union with us; together watched as the the world forever changed on 9/11 and clung to the innocence slipping from our child's life in that moment; did our best to soothe each other's suffering; continued to travel and drop each other off and picked each other up from the airport more times then I can count; road tripped North, South, East, and West more than once or even twice; lost two cars to motor vehicle accidents (IE. NOT fender benders) and have managed to survive them with all limbs intact; adopted our furry faced baby, yes, the dog, and raised our little puppy to be an unmanageable ball of cuteness; we have even come close to walking away, but somehow have ALWAYS found our way back; and at the end of it all we will fall asleep tonight and wake up in a new year and new decade with a love for one another like very few people are lucky enough to know!

I can't imagine what the next 10 years will hold, but I also can't imagine beginning them from any other vantage point... I have the love of my life by my side, I start a new job at the beginning of January, and I become a student of higher learning (for the first time in 17 years I've been in a classroom for my own education) at the end of January. I will look fear in the face and be the best I can be for me, so that my daughter might see that she too can be the best that she can be. And while I may have lost sight of that shore on the West Coast, there are new shores waiting to be discovered...

for all I hope you FEEL joy, HAVE health, and KNOW peace~ tirz

"The Last Supper"

Easter Supper that is, here in Seattle. While everyday is the last this day (March 16) or that day (second Tuesday of the fifth month) of living here in Seattle; it is of course much more meaningful on those days that in general are just more meaningful: ie. Easter. Today we celebrated our LAST Easter in Seattle, for a while anyways.

We haven't really done anything more extrordinary then any other Easter and in fact most likely a little less. Instead of a full spread breakfast, Michael just made Egg McMikey Muffins with bacon; it was filling and tasty all the same. HFG didn't get to find her Easter Basket; the Easter Bunny couldn't find it either amongst the holiday storage crates (I am desperatly hoping it is just packed away very well or I will be sad); but she was still surprised and thrilled with the Easter spread she found instead. We spent more of our time doing chores / projects then Eastery things... but then what are Eastery things when you aren't a church goer? It was a nice enough day: a fire crackled in the living room, sweets and savorys were there for the pickin', and we all knew we were loved.

In a way some of these "lasts" are also the lasts of HFG's childhood, Easter will be different next year, it won't be just the three of us having a mellow day all day together in our little cocoon. There will be family on both sides, we may even be the ones hosting. HFG will nearly be 15 and most likely wanting nothing to do with us, the Easter Bunny, or any of the family in the living room.

But today is ours, just the three of us... the sun has come out, we went to one of our favorite places and it is good. I will always remember today...