closing the Face Book Chapter

Lots of friends I met at work

I initially joined because after a few months of people asking and past the point of us notifying people we were moving away from Seattle I concurred it seemed like an easy enough way to stay in touch with our people; the community I built up over the 16 years we had lived in Seattle. Folks I'd met through work (mostly), through kid activities, random events, or mutual friends;  Other Coloradans who had migrated to the NW.  Friendships that carried us along through some challenging times and celebrated with us when the occasion arose; essentially the village that helped raise my daughter for 14 years... 

Life Long "Villagers"

I hadn't expected it but of course, as happens, I did end up connecting with people I had gone to elementary - high school with...

EVEN friended a few folks I met during my 7th grade yr. (living with my grandparents in the South)...

many many moons ago.... 

and it made sense that with my little one turning the corner into teendom, I figured I should have an account so that I could keep an eye on hers (although she has since even grown out of FB and moved onto Tumblr (which I don't have and don't care too)...

it goes by so so fast. 

Then... FB became a tool for connecting with people, and places here in Pittsburgh and wow did I ever connect. The thing that has made all the difference, for me here in terms of assimilatin' n'at, are the people who have brought me into their own communities. The folks who have literally opened their hearts and homes to my entire family - because of that our story in PGH is easily a successful mid-life-quit-our-jobs-move-cross-country experiment.

Pittsburgh Ladies KNOW how to inspire! 

Families, Fun, Friends

I was thinking about the weekend I "swung by da'Burgh" for a weekend two months before we  moved here, and realized all these amazing, talented, loving people were here going on about their lives, and even if inadvertently, making space for us in them. I could not be more grateful.  

You can take the girl out of the Burgh... 

For all this and more yes I have indeed took advantage of Facebook; but I think its usefulness isn't what it used to be. I've used both Flickr and Twitter to assure future interactions with new people who came into my life and for the ones who are already in it, I've decided there are other better methods of keeping those synapses active. One of those being the US Postal System. I LOVE MAIL, real touchable tangible mail. I love receiving and sending it and I feel that given the state of the system I better get my use out of it now, before the whole thing goes kaput.

But you can't take the Burgh out of the Girl!!!! 

There is also email, text, telephone, facetime and or skype, and for some there is even LinkedIn. The kid is nearly off to start her own young adult life, and for those connections I have made which are unable to survive my departure from facebook I can only offer up my appreciation for sharing this strange social network experience with me and wish you all the best.

I'm looking forward, actually, to spending more energy on my hobbies, my mid-life, my honey, LIFE in general. 

like a flash in the pan

Summertime is nearing it's end. All in all I would have to say the Summer of 2011 was purdy durn fantastic.

• Hung out with friends I made last summer
• Made new friends and hung out with them
• Discovered the Highland Park Pool

• Ate grilled peaches, & some other fancy things my bro-in-law whipped up

• Went to a movie in the park

• Enjoyed Porch Time (a lovely reminder of my youthful summers in the south)
• Hosted family friends, and robins

five of 'em squished in there

last baby out, mom & pop were keeping an eye on him

• Went to a baseball game

• volunteered here, and there,
  
• and of course enjoyed an occasional Pittsburgh classic - Rita's Ice

But now... now I think that I am mostly ready for fall and all the fun that comes with that.

moving right along...

I started this blog to capture my experience of moving back to my husband's homeland... but I could have been writing about moves my whole life. On average I've moved every 18 months of my 37 years of life! Most of which were just cross town moves, but there was a quick succession of out of state moves: CO - OR - CA - WA - ME - an 11 month stop over back in CO - and then back to WA for 14 years until we packed up our lives and begin the journey documented here.

I spend a lot of time talking about moving here when I meet new people... how one ends up in Pittsburgh is always an ice breaker conversation... other then those who never left, there are those who are boomerang Pittsburghers, those who came here for school and never left, those who came for a job, or a spouse... Pittsburgh isn't exactly a destination you just decide to move to and start a new life, although it should be.

But this post is not actually about all my moving - it's about other people and their moving. Because we've now been here long enough that we know people who lived here before us and are moving on; and we've met people who have recently moved to the city after us.

I will say that I can appreciate how my friends and coworkers in Seattle may have felt when I was preparing to move far far away. There really is only one person I was particularly close to in Seattle who moved away while we lived there, and that was also VERY early on in our time there. It is surreal to me that I have lived here long enough to get close enough to people and be sad that they are leaving. Although I will probably be able to see some of them in a few months (they will only be a MegaBus ride away); others are making a transcontinental move and I just don't know when I will be able to see them.

Then there are the people who have just moved here from away. Watching them transition and remembering what it felt like when I first got here I feel some sense of responsibility to share information about good grocery stores, mass transit, fun events. I am pleased that I actually have information to pass along... it reinforces that I am truly home here. It is also nice to be reminded how far I've come since first arriving in Western PA. I don't think I could have imagined then how grounded and happy I would be 2 years from when we first arrived.

"Capture Life"

I only posted about my recent debilitating mental problem a week ago... and I only started taking medication to help with that like two days ago (more on that in a minute), but I have to say - things are starting to look up.

Admitting there was a problem both to myself, family, and friends (and my little interwebular community) was a huge load off. Being depressed and then being secretive and carrying that around all by yourself is a huge burden that just seems to make it worse. It certainly helped when I received so many positive and loving messages from aforementioned peeps.

There is always an adjustment period with medication and I'm in the throes of that right now... So far the side effects have been manageable having identified them early on. To top it off for getting a 3 month script... Walgreens threw in some free Vit. D (which brings me to my next lifter-upper)

We've had some sunny days and although I haven't made a huge effort to be outside (it's still fairly chilly); I've had a few chances to hold my face into the sunlight and soak up the warmth. I am looking forward to spring... and all the hope that brings with it.

I am also making an effort to ramp up my exercise regime a bit more. I was thrilled when I was able to walk with my walking partner... it's been months (weather, holidays, etc.) since we've gotten to walk. She surprised me with a little gifty before we walked. It was very poignant and is an excellent reminder that I think I might use as my motto in the coming days.

pure goodness

Recently I received an email from a gal, who works at a local independent radio station, she was letting me know she used a photograph I posted of a local yoga studio for their rotation (#4).

I first met the owner of said yoga studio at a volunteer event for said radio station about three months into living here in Pittsburgh.

I know this for sure: the choice to volunteer at the radio station absolutely contributed to the success of me living in Pittsburgh; because the owner of the yoga studio has absolutely contributed to my ability to have a supportive, loving, magical community here in Pittsburgh.


I'm excited to discover what other amazing connections are waiting to be made in 2011~

I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort where we overlap. Ani Difranco

I have come to realize of late... that if Forbes had a list for people whose wealth was measured in sincere friendships I would most certainly be in the top 100. That isn't to say that I have the most friends in the world; but the friends I do have, well.... they are just too amazing for words. How I ever got so lucky I will never know.

in case you thought to ask, "How are you?"

I would have to say, "While I can't say my life is magnificent I definitely feel more present in it and there is something fulfilling in that."

This past week was fraught with some challenges, but instead of wallowing in self pity, I took action. I recognized what I could control and I focused on that. Those things that were beyond my reach were exactly that and not worth my fretting over. And at the end of the day Friday, I knew I had done the best I could do and everything happened for a reason and it was all good; even when at first glance it seemed like it didn't and wasn't.

I will admit to being one of those people who has harboured jealousy of what others have, but I see how what I have is priceless. Above all I have LOVE in my life: in the form of an understanding and supportive life partner, a compassionate daughter, and other family and friends that are unrelenting in their encouragement. In the dark there is the light in my mother's eyes; in the cold there is warmth in my husband's arms; when my stomach is empty there is a chair at my friend's table... what more could I ask for? I think nothing, except maybe to be reminded each day of this truth.

How am I? I am BLESSED.

role reversal

So.... I think everyone (who knows me) would agree I am the more social person in my marriage. In Seattle I had lots of friends, and liked to spend lots of time with my friends. Poor Michael would get dragged to gatherings and what-not more often then he liked; although for the most part I just went and hung out with my friends solo. Also... I had a friend who spent a LOT of time at our place, and when I say a LOT, I mean a LOT. If she wasn't hanging out at our place, or me at her place, I was often on the phone with her. This was status quo for years.

Well now here we are in Pittsburgh, and I have all of two people I would really consider friends, and they are busy with their lives and while I've spent some time with them it isn't comparable to my socializing in Seattle. Conversely one of Michael's good friends lives only a few houses up the street, which means he is either hanging down here or more likely Michael is hanging out up there. And of course because he is from the area he has LOTS of friends still in the area... and now I am getting a taste of my own medicine. I don't mind really. It's nice to finally see him socializing and enjoying time with someone other then me. There is a side of me that does like to sit back (be the wall flower, so to speak) and watch the hap's going on around me, and this does give me that opportunity.

Who knows? Maybe I will enter a new phase in my life where I am less social and more of a home-body, it was beginning to happen a bit in the last year or so in Seattle. I do imagine it will take at least a year if not longer for me to develop a handful of friendships here in the Burgh, regardless. Also, I don't see this as a bad thing, because having that kind of free time might also push me into pursuing things I've put off for a very long time.

here, there, and everywhere

I awoke to a cup of coffee and oatmeal with my Uncle Bernhard (no one around here pronounces his name correctly either), at the butt crack of dawn. After some lovely morning chatter I headed off to spend a moment with Jeremy and start a new tradition for Mother's Day (breakfast at Ruthie's in Ligonier). After some tasty bacon, and perfect over hard eggs (yolks not broken, way to go Ruthie's), I headed into Braddock to meet Jenny and her peeps. It was a lovely day with the sun in and out behind the clouds, and I found the three gals making the most of the day: digging up the vacant lot next door. Diligently preparing the ground for a garden to grow all the makings of salsa and pasta sauce (a gal after my own heart). It was nice chatting, and having the chance to make two more friends. I am looking forward to having them over for enchiladas (they are all craving decent Mexican, and Michael makes a mean pan of chicken enchiladas) when we have completed the move and start to settle in.

After feeling like a lunp of uselessness (I wasn't exactly dressed for hard labor), I headed into the city to meet my other new friend, Michael (cause just what I need is one more of those in my life) who promptly showed my that P*brgh has decent local coffee (they even had coconut syrup!). After briefly sitting, sipping, and giving cliff notes on our lives, he, ever so graciously, offered to give me the delux private tour of where to and where not: beginning in Shady Side, a quick jaunt along Liberty Ave then back south through Squirrel Hill, a jump on the East Parkway to Mt. Washington over to the North Shore and back again to Shady Side; a true gentleman.



It was a lovely day exploring, and I am can't wait to get here permanently and do some more of the same. It was a lot, but so worth the plethora of information intake.

maybe what I am really afraid of is...

So I've recently struck up conversation with someone living in the Pittsburgh area, whom I haven't actually met in person only through email, a blog, and Flickr; and I realized...

It's not that I am afraid of no one liking me, because really what if people don't like me? I'm not going to argue with them. It's that I've been very socially independent from my husband for our entire relationship! What I am afraid of is losing that independence.

I will have to mull this over more, but the more I think about it the more I realize maybe its okay if I become more dependent on Michael for companionship, and social interaction. As HFG gets older and spends less time with us, we spend more time just the two of us (along with the furry faced one) and I find that I quite enjoy it. I am pretty lucky that I have a life partner I like as a person, I enjoy spending time with, and that makes me laugh a LOT.

Maybe I won't get lonely after all~