Monday, November 7, 2011

walking the walk or holding the pose as my yoga teacher might say

I had started writing my last post about 1/2 way in to the challenge, but had been suggesting that the commitment part of it really was the problem prior to even signing up. Well lo and behold after posting and than discussing said post with friends I realized two other "excuses" I tend to use when taking on any sort of commitment.

marking my final class! 

The first is self-discipline. I came of age during the height of slacker-dom; and admittedly I revel in doing nothing. When I do do something I don't want to do it because I have to do it, I want to do it because I want to do it. And doing the challenge (even though I wanted to do it) was really someone/something else saying, "You've signed up to do it, so you really must do it." Same with school - yes I want to go to school for me, but at the same time I will have paid monies and will have requirements put on me by an external source and that is what stops me from signing up. Can you also see that maybe I have a slight aversion to being told what to do, even by myself?!?!

First Day of the Challenge / Last Day of the challenge 
with my friend, Maria G-Yoga Face! 

The second thing, (ok, I guess the aversion to authority might be #2) is camaraderie. Despite being an only child I like to "do stuff" with other people (except for hanging out by myself, which I also like to do a lot). What I really enjoyed, and hadn't necessarily expected (despite signing up because my friend said I should) about the challenge was the connections I was making with other challengers, I even had some early morning car pools going. It just helped to know you weren't at it alone in feeling like "ugh, I barely pulled myself out of bed, but here I am". Even a few of the teachers were doing the challenge, so you felt like they had compassion for your struggles. I even met fellow a fellow blogger, who blogged about the challenge, and had another friend write about her take on it. So we were in it together.

My friend Sara (who contributed to the YH newsletter) & I, 
photo taken by my new friend Kate, aka Yinzperation. 

At the end of my last post I asked these questions:

Am I looking forward to the whole thing being over with? Does it mean I have rid myself of my phobia? 

I really am glad it is over. Although after taking a break for a few days I definitely missed being in the studio at 6:15 AM with my fellow challengers, so I was super happy to see a few of them there when I arrived four days after it was over.
I am still averse to commitment and discipline of any kind, but I think I am less averse. 
SOOOO... what where does this leave me?
I CAN do something when I put my mind to it, I CAN have self discipline; and I really like my friends to be doing stuff that requires self discipline with me.
Will I do the 29 day challenge in February 2012? I don't know yet, but I was chatting with a friend, and she said she is interested. So I may get talked into proving once again what I am capable of. We'll see.

We were ready, we were set, 22 of us were fully committed. 

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