a week from tomorrow my beloved child will turn 16.
I've stated many times that I was so looking forward to her growing older, and that I anxiously awaited the day she turned 21 and I could saddle up to the bar and have a drink with her and chat about all the mysteries of life. and here I am bleeding out my eye balls at the site of her growing up and away from me. WTF?
Some of you reading this you might recall the who that was me at 16 - tempestuous, dazed, confused, narcissistic, stubborn, caged, wild, weary, fierce, frightened... none of which my daughter is - who instead is calm, collected, knowing, strong, restrained, consistent, compassionate, sacrificing, fearless....
I now know that at 16 I could not fathom being worthy of having a person such as she love me unconditionally; and just as I realize this she is near to the end of being mine (all mine). She is moving on, as she should, into falling in love with the world at large and with other people and I must share her with all that is out of my control.
My darling daughter, I will remain steadfast on shore and watch as you go off to sail the seas of your own life; and I will hope that the light you lit oh those many years ago will shine bright enough so that you can find your way during a storm to safe harbor. xo